227. RIO GRANDE (1950)

Running Time: 105 minutes
Directed By: John Ford
Written By: James Warner Bellah, James Kevin McGuinness, from the story Mission With No Record by James Warner Bellah
Main Cast: John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara, Ben Johnson, Claude Jarman Jr., Harry Carey Jr.
Click here to view the trailer

BOOOOORRING!

It seems like every season at least one movie comes along and makes me take a second look at the title of the "1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" book and make sure it's not the "1001 Movies You Must Avoid At All Costs in Your Lifetime". The title hasn't changed, but I'm here to tell you that "Rio Grande" was tough watch #1 of the season.

This film, like many John Ford films, centers around John Wayne, who this time time around plays Lt. Col. Kirby Yorke, a Union officer, who lead his men into and out of battle in the Civil War and is now stationed in Texas, where he must defend a group of settlers against an Apache tribe. The film opens with a group of new recruits being assigned to Yorke, one of which is the son he hasn't seen in fifteen years, Jeff Yorke (Jarman Jr.). Enter the lieutenant Colonel's estranged wife, Kathleen (Yorke), who wants nothing more that for her son to discharge himself from the army, but we're in the midst of a fictional war dammit and of course, he won't do that. Later, after an Apache attack, the lieutenant Colonel is ordered to lead his men across the Rio Grande, where they'll mount a counter attack on the Apaches. There's also this whole side plot involving Trooper Tyree (Johnson), another of the new recruits, who is wanted for manslaughter, but, to be honest, I kind of mentally checked out of this one at the halfway mark, so I'll leave you to discover the rest for yourself.

Man, I'll be honest, I'm REALLY starting to hate John Ford. Not only did he serve me this dish of cold soup, but he was also responsible for "How Green Was My Valley" and "The Quiet Man". Couple those two with "Rio Grande" and it's enough to make me forget just how good "Stagecoach", "Judge Priest", "The Grapes of Wrath", "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" and "My Darling Clementine" were and send me down the path to remembering John Ford as someone who bore me more often than he excited me. Now normally I HATE it when people use the word boring to describe a bad movie (a pet peeve), but I'll let it slide when it comes to detailing "Rio Grande". I mean, this film was coma inducing! I'm not a John Wayne fan, nor am I fan of these old rolling hills, traditional westerns and that's just the kinds of western that this is. Like I said in my "Winchester '73" review, if I have to watch a western, I'd rather it be a B western, because that's when plot usually takes rank over traditional, formulaic westerns, which is what Ford seemingly excelled at. Trust me kids, "Rio Grande" is very of it's time and was probably even behind it's time in 1950. By then, I'd like to think that film noir and crime stories were all the rage, hence the success of Billy Wilder, John Huston and Alfred Hitchcock around that time. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Rio Grande" is that type of film that you'd expect to walk in on your grandparents watching, as they huddle under an old, knitted afghan and remember the "good 'ol days". It's boring and as much as I love old films, in 2013, this just isn't working anymore, not on this reviewer anyway. If I had to pick one redeeming quality, it would be the scene where the new recruits ride two horses, one foot on the back of each horse and even jump a fence while doing so. That was pretty fun to watch. Otherwise, take a pass here.

RATING: 1/10  Yep, gotta' go as low as I can go on this one, because I hated it that much and couldn't stop staring at the DVD clock on this one, hoping it'd just END!

MOVIES WATCHED: 716
MOVIES LEFT TO WATCH: 285

August 22, 2013  4:56pm

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186. My Darling Clementine (1946)

Running Time: 97 minutes
Directed By: John Ford
Written By: Samuel G. Engel, Sam Hellman
Main Cast: Henry Fonda, Victor Mature, Cathy Downs, Linda Darnell, Walter Brennan
Click here to view the trailer

EARP AGAIN

For the curious, I'm going to try and squeeze in a couple reviews today and start to get this train rolling toward the finale. Last night I was able to take in John Ford's 1946 western offering, "My Darling Clementine" - a movie that I had actually seen before and one that I feel is kind of *meh*.

The plot highly resembles a movie I watched earlier this season, "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral" and tells the story of Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday and their adventures in the town of Tombstone. This time around Henry Fonda plays the Wyatt Earp role and when we start out, him and his brothers (Virgil, Morgan and James) are driving cattle out west. Along the way they pass the Clanton gang, consisting of Old Man Clanton (Brennan) and his four sons. Clanton offers to buy the Earps' cattle, but they decline and instead get directions to a nearby town, which just happens to be Tombstone. Later that night, the older Earp brothers leave the younger James behind, riding into Tombstone to see if they can rustle up some grub and maybe a shave. When they return to James, later in the night, they find him killed and the cattle stolen. Wyatt and his brothers ride back to Tombstone and Wyatt is offered job as town Marshall, with his brothers serving as the deputies. Wyatt makes it his mission to find the men that killed his brother James, even though it's really no secret that it was the Clanton's. Meanwhile, Wyatt restores order in Tombstone, prompting decent people to come outside again and driving out the miscreants. Wyatt also meets and develops a friendship with Doc Holliday, the gambler of the town and a very sick man, which we see due to his violent bouts of coughing. Like most westerns, it all leads to a big showdown, this time at the O.K. Corral.

SPOILER ALERT!!

Well this is the third John Ford I've watched in just this season alone and I can say that I am definitely not a fan of his. Don't get me wrong, "My Darling Clementine" wasn't bad...but it wasn't great either and with Henry Fonda as part of the cast, that's rare. For starters, I'm just not that thrilled with the Wyatt Earp story as, apparently, everyone else in Hollywood seems to be. Honestly, there's just not much substance to it. Wyatt and his brothers are good, the Clanton's are bad and Doc Holliday fits somewhere in the middle, but mostly he's good. Then, in the middle act somewhere, there's a couple of girls fighting for Doc's attention and throughout the whole thing, the bad guys break stuff and the good guys try not to use their guns. All of the characters seem to fit in these predetermined molds and there doesn't seem to be any room for straying from that. There's just no surprises and it all gets wrapped up just the way we thought it would in the first five minutes of the picture. The Clanton's turn out to be the bad guys, Wyatt takes the Marshall job in Tombstone and in the end, it's the Earps (plus Doc) battling it out with the Clanton's at O.K. Corral. No fuss, no muss.

But, then again, Henry Fonda is in there and how can you beat down a Henry Fonda picture. He's probably my favorite actor of all-time, so when I see one of his pictures, I really expect something special and as much as he tried, this picture ultimately just didn't fully deliver. The camera shots were pretty amazing too and I spotted dozens of images that were really capturing magic, mostly far away shots of Earp as he walked in the rain or sat, with his foot propped on a bannister, on the porch. And let me just say this, I really thought the whole cast did a fine job, not just Fonda. I liked Ward Bond, Victor Mature, Linda Darnell and even Walter Brennan. I mean, who'd have thought this guy could actually play a decent villain, but he totally pulled it off. I cannot believe this is the same bumbling idiot from those Howard Hawks movies.

RATING: 6.5/10  Not good, not bad, but just sort of easing into the dead zone. However, after "Henry V" and "Ivan the Terrible", seeing Henry Fonda bust out his acting chops was a breath of fresh air.

MOVIES WATCHED: 686
MOVIES LEFT TO WATCH: 315

May 22, 2013  12:57pm

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149. How Green Was My Valley (1941)

Running Time: 118 minutes
Directed By: John Ford
Written By: Philip Dunne, from novel by Richard Llewellyn
Main Cast: Roddy McDowall, Donald Crisp, Walter Pidgeon, Maureen O'Hara, Anna Lee
Click here to view the trailer

FORD HAVE MERCY ON ME!

Yes, it's another Irish (well it's Welsh, but who's counting) piece by John Ford. Some of you may remember my complete dislike for Ford's "The Quiet Man" earlier this same season and while this one was a smidge better, I still wasn't too keen on it.

The film is a slice of family life in a small, Welsh village where the majority of the villagers are coal miners. We zoom in on a typical family, consisting of a father (Crisp); mother; five brothers, including the youngest Huw (McDowall) and a sister (O'Hara). Together they are the Morgan family and everyday the four elder brothers and their father trot off to work in the dingy coal mines. They come home each night singing songs (not unlike the seven dwarfs), put their wages in Ma's apron, which she folds up to act as a basket and wash the coal dust from their bodies. They then gather round the table, like any wholesome, normal, full of love family and break bread together, giving thanks for what they have. Things are peachy keen until the wages at the mine are cut to make way for new workers, who agree to work for less money and a strike ensues. Father resists the strike and the talk of unionization, but his four elder sons insist that it's a must. Eventually his elder sons, never showing disrespect, decide to leave the house. Meanwhile, Huw, the youngest, falls into an icy river (a la George Bailey) and messes up his legs. Doctors say he'll likely never walk again, but a pep talk from the new preacher (Pidgeon) about faith gives him hope. He ultimately makes a full recovery and goes to school, where he learns that a man must learn to fight with his fists. The strike eventually ends, father returns to the mines and life goes on, with it's ups and downs, as it always will. We continue to watch the progression of the Morgan family, through their specific ups and downs.

Apparently back in 1941, John Ford was doing some serious palm greasing, because that's the only plausible explanation for "How Green Was My Valley" taking home the Oscar for Best Picture, especially considering it beat out "Citizen Kane". Granted, "Kane" isn't a favorite of mine, but it's a favorite of everyone else and it's even obvious to me that "Valley" beats "Kane" zero times out of one hundred. This picture was a little too wholesome, goody-goody and of it's time for this reviewer. It didn't age well, to say the least and this is yet another film that I watch while envisioning my grandparents, wrapped under an afghan, watching and loving every minute of it, on a dreary Sunday afternoon, likely after church. I just don't share Ford's passion for these slice of life, countryside dramas, filled with family values and characters that we follow through years upon years of their lives. He obviously had ideals and interests other than mine and seemed to make pictures that would allow him to reflect on a simpler time, one that is basically non-existent today.

Of course, it wasn't all bad and I'll give credit where it's due. I was engaged about half the time, while the other half the time my mind wanted badly to wander and forget about the dull picture that was spreading itself out before me. Donald Crisp was excellent, as was Walter Pidgeon and certain scenarios were interesting. By the way, the answer to the math question that Walter Pidgeon's character poses to Huw, at about the halfway point is four (I think). At times the picture gave off a cozy aura and while I watched it in my TV room today, wrapped under a blanket (because the air conditioner was on a tad too high), there were times when I wanted to doze off, not because I was bored, but because I was comfortable warmth generating from the screen. I guess that's not bad at all. Also, the narration is great and I can only assume that the narration is read word for word out of the novel, because it's so well written that it must be from a novelist and not a screenwriter.

RATING: 5/10  Let's slice it right down the middle and call it an average affair. I felt that I griped just as much as I praised and therefore a '5' seems fitting.

MOVIES WATCHED: 675
MOVIES LEFT TO WATCH: 326

May 4, 2013  9:17pm

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242. The Quiet Man (1952)

Running Time: 129 minutes
Directed By: John Ford
Written By: Frank S. Nugent, Maurice Walsh, from the story Green Rushes by Maurice Walsh
Main Cast: John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara, Barry Fitzgerald, Victor McLaglen, Ward Bond
Click here to view the trailer

NOT QUIET ENOUGH

Remember when I wrote my "Double Indemnity" review and I talked about movies that you just know you're going to love before you even begin watching them? Well, that works the other way too, as I've also had many experiences with movies that I knew I WASN'T going to love before I even started them. "The Quiet Man" was one of those movies.

The film was directed by John Ford, in the 1950s and starred John Wayne, so without even going any further we can tell by just that bit of information that it was nominated for a whole heap of Academy Awards (but it only won two). John Wayne is Sean Thornton, an Irish-American, ex-boxer who returns home to the green pastures of Ireland after living in Pittsburgh most of his life. When he rides into the little town of Innisfree, via horse and carriage, he tells the coach driver that he plans to buy a small cottage, fix it up and live there; a small cottage that was owned by his mother and father many years ago and one that he's dreamed of living in all of his life. So Sean meets with the current owner and for the sum of 1000 pounds, she sells Sean the land and the cottage and he moves in, much to the dismay of Squire Will Danagher (McLaglen), who was also interested in the property.Sean moves in, starts fixing the place up, little by little and tries his best to be neighborly with Danagher, who lives right next door. Well, actually, Sean's true neighborly intentions lie with the Squire's sister, Mary Kate Danagher (O'Hara), whom Sean is gaga about. After a while, Sean gets up the nerve to ask Mary Kate out, but traditional Irish customs specify that Sean ask Will for permission to court Mary Kate and of course, Will says no. So the townspeople, who all like Sean well enough, help him hatch out a scheme that will get Will to say yes and it works and Sean marries Mary Kate. However, there's still the matter of Mary Kate's inheritance, which Will refuses to let go of. Oh and there's also the matter of Sean being a former ex-boxer, who retired when he accidentally killed a man in the ring, which becomes important near the end of the movie.

SPOILER ALERT!!

Oy vey! Where do I begin. Well, let's put it this way - I didn't like it! Why didn't I like it, you ask? Well lets start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). For starters, I'm not particularly fond of John Wayne movies as it is. I'm sorry, I know he's supposed to be an American institution and was supposedly a real life superhero (I mean he even had a nickname: "The Duke" - that's  name no one would self apply where I come from, but that's a different matter for a different day) but I just do not get the appeal. As far as I'm concerned it takes a mighty fine script to even make the guy look halfway decent and even then his acting ability is basically nil. Granted, I have only seen a handful of John Wayne movies - this, "The Searchers", "Stagecoach", "Rio Bravo", "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" and "Red River" - but none of those have succeeded in selling me on the guy and I think by now I've seen enough to form a pretty strong opinion and that is one of dislike.

Okay, so the star of the movie aside, there's still the matter of the incredibly - and I do mean INCREDIBLY - boring picture! Now, I hate to be the guy who writes a movie off as boring and leaves it at that and USUALLY I try to avoid using the word "boring" when airing my grievances about a certain film, but I'm sorry; if ever there was a movie to call boring, "The Quiet Man" is that movie. Let's take a look at the sequence of events here: guy returns to Ireland, guy buys land, guy meets girl, guy marries girl, guy quarrels with girls brother, guy quarrels with wife, guy fights girls brother, everybody lives happily ever after. Get the hell out of here with that crap, man! Really? That's it? I'm supposed to be left emotionally drained by one of the most sleep inducing romances in cinematic history? We are never given a reason to care about these characters. What, just because it's the almighty John Wayne (God rest his soul, I'm not one to speak ill of the dead) I'm supposed to automatically care that he's returned to Ireland and oh how romantic, he's been struck smitten by a redheaded angel!? Nah. Sorry, no. No one gets automatic cool points with me, especially not "The Duke". Just because you were one of the biggest names to ever step onto the silver screen, doesn't mean you get my automatic attention. Each movie is it's own vehicle and in this one, I'll reiterate, we are never given reasons to care for these characters. Also, what's with characters in old movies falling head over heels in love after just one look or one kiss? No wonder the 50s were such a boom period for births.

So that about wraps it up. I hate to be THAT guy, but I can't help to just write off "The Quiet Man" as boring. Of course, I didn't even mention that "big climax", where Sean finally decided to fight for his woman (not sure where his big change of heart came from), in a fighting scene that is laced with too much comedy to be taken seriously. No, this film just simply wasn't for me. It's that kind of movie that you'd expect to find your grandparents watching on a Saturday afternoon, your grandma knitting booties and your grandpa half dozed off in the chair...can you blame him?!

RATING: 2/10  Big 'ol thumbs down from this guy and easily THE WORST movie of the season, just beating out "Red Psalm" by a notch. I'll happily mark this one as "watched" and move on with my life.

MOVIES WATCHED: 625
MOVIES LEFT TO WATCH: 376

March 3, 2013  5:37pm

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